I win something!

You have no idea how chuffed I was when I opened one of those Sainsbury's gamecards you can get at the moment and found I had won a bag of frozen brocolli!!!!

You don't seem impressed... And sadly there will be no glitzy award ceremony, James tells me I just hand over the voucher at the till. I'm still holding out for a fanfare, though.

Look, you need to realise that I never win anything like that. The last competition I remember winning where I wasn't told to phone some ridiculously overpriced phone number in order to claim my crappy holiday for one in Toremolinos was probably when I won a pot of fudge for dressing up particularly convincingly as Popeye in the Church fete when I must have been no more than 8. You may be pleased to hear I still have the pot (back in my parent's house) but not the lid. The pot now plays a vital role in preserving my small collection of interesting rocks, which in turn once formed part of my 'museum'*. I was an undeniably exciting kid.

Now do you understand my pleasure?

Ok, well never mind, at least know that I am now in a position to obtain a foodstuff that will play a vital role in my 'five-a-day'.

If anyone can enlighten me as to the other healthy bags of goodness up for grabs in this hotly contested competition, do let me know.

*The museum also contained a model of a Roman Villa (as opposed to a roman villa, which would have been less exciting) and a two shilling piece from the 1950s, which, to be fair was ancient history at the time. I don't remember anyone visiting, except perhaps my mum. Though I don't recall her paying the £4 entrance fee.